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The last year has drastically changed our day-to-day routine; suddenly being forced into isolation, away from the usual activities that kept us mentally well. For some, this has brought about a much-needed break, providing time to practice self-care and connect with ourselves. For others it has had a detrimental effect on mental health and overall wellbeing.
Over the last year we have been forced to adapt, to cope with lockdown. To some extent we may have got used to the ‘new normal’, away from the bustle of everyday life. For many April 12th was a pivotal date, allowing us the opportunity to go out, socialise in pubs, restaurants and shops. However this date has also brought a lot of fear; “For many of us, even the happy, much anticipated changes and re-adjustment can be difficult for our mental health” (Mental Health Foundation).
Anxiety as an emotion can lead us to fear the unknown; coming out of lockdown for all of us is a big unknown. “The idea of coming out of lockdown when the scientific debate is ongoing may also be worrying for those of us who are more at risk from the virus or living with mental health problems” (Mental Health Foundation). For many returning to work or socialising can seem overwhelming. I wanted to find out how others where feeling about this, to really understand their fears and concerns. I asked individuals to participate in sharing how they were feeling, for this blog post they will remain anonymous.
I asked the question:
“How are you feeling about coming out of lockdown?”
One of the responses I got:
“I’m less worried about the virus itself as we come out of lockdown, but I have noticed over the course of the year I’ve become increasingly anti-social and I think it’s a defence mechanism borne out of all the measures we’ve had to endure. I feel increasingly lonely and sad about what feels like the collapse of friendship groups and family ties, and as I’ve been at a standstill for so long, there is a huge inertia to overcome in seeing people again. There is also the case that all the social things I loved to do before COVID hit now draws large crowds, and will do for years to come as people seek to play catch up, and even though I was always quite comfortable in a crowd I’ve now come to detest it”
I am sure many of us can mirror similar concerns, of feeling isolated and our lives being put on hold. Feeling lonely or sad and almost as if we have forgotten how to be with others? After spending so long in isolation: How do we go back to our previous busy and social lives?
As well as finding out the fears of others, I was keen to find out how individuals were coping with the transition, especially in terms of looking after their mental health.
I asked a further question:
“What advice do you have for managing your mental health coming out of lockdown”
Here’s the advice they have given themselves:
“Not putting yourself in situations that you may not be able to deal with, like massive gatherings of people. Its important to have more one-to-one interactions, such as having dinner with friends”
“Don’t put too much pressure on yourself for your life to be where you want it to be. Have time out from your phone, take time to exercise, fresh air, cups of tea, wake up and shower and get changed every morning”
“I don’t think people should be too hard on themselves to suddenly change back their lifestyle; just because the pubs are open, don’t feel like you suddenly have to go to them and socialise. Take it step by step and do what is best for you, right now. Sometimes that’s easing into things at your own pace. So be kind to yourself. Remember the sea refuses no river; so go with the flow”
Interestingly, their views felt very similar, all mirroring the same themes of self-compassion. The advice focused on taking things at your own pace and looking after yourself. These words can really guide us in how to move forwards.
Here are the tips they’ve shared:
1. Try to avoid putting yourself in situations that feel too overwhelming
2. Try initially socialising in smaller groups or one-to-one interactions
3. Be kind to yourself, you don’t need to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with
4. All the things that kept us well in lockdown are important to stick to, such as routine, exercise, time out from technology, fresh air, cups of tea and try to get changed every day (if still working from home)
5. Take it step by step, always thinking about your needs first and take it at your own pace
Try asking yourself when you go out to socialise: Am I doing this for me because I want to? Or am I doing it because I feel like I have to, or am trying to please others?
Something I would add to the list is its okay to say no. If you don’t feel comfortable socialising in a large group or you don’t feel like meeting others its okay to tell them how you’re feeling. It can be really challenging telling others how you honestly feel, but if you do share how you are feeling about a situation, it can help those around you to support you. Saying something like: “I am feeling really anxious about meeting up”, can indicate to your family and friends what’s really going on for you. Something I wanted to share in this blog post is that you are not alone. There are many of us that are struggling with lockdown easing and that’s okay. When working with clients who are struggling to prioritise work and social commitments, I ask: “What feels more important to you, your work, social life or mental health?”.
It comes as no surprise every time the response is always ‘my mental health’, which is a gentle reminder to help us refocus our priorities.
So the question is, what advice do you have for yourself?
Mental Health Foundation
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